After deciding not to elope, I spent a hour on the phone with my mother talking about what I really wanted in a wedding. The most important thing was to have the people I love there to celebrate with me, which, let's face it, is the underlying reason for the wedding/reception tradition in the first place.
Armed with that new assurance, we began to plan. What we really wanted was a small, casual backyard wedding, but we didn't know anyone in town who had a backyard we could use. Then my mom had the brilliant idea of renting a vacation house for the weekend, having our out of town relatives stay there, and host the ceremony and reception in the backyard.
We seized on the idea, and, since we live in an incredibly beautiful state, started looking at vacation homes in several areas. We found a house we loved 200 feet from the beach, with plenty of room for our family and party, and some great places to do some of the wedding photos. We were pretty much decided, and I called the owner to see if she would let us do a small wedding there, but she was just really nasty to me, which turned me off of the whole house, despite the beach view and beautiful spiral staircase and rooftop deck.
That was definitely my favorite place on the coast, so we began looking into central Oregon, in the Bend/Sunriver area, which is known for its luxurious rental homes for the ski season, a benefit for us, because our wedding would be in their off season. We found one that we like, and we're currently talking to the owners about renting it, but there is another we like even more.
In Hood River there is a gorgeous house that we really want to rent. It has plenty of room, a spacious downstairs, and, the best part, a private waterfall grotto. Ridiculous right? Well, so is the price. The nightly rate isn't too steep, considering the number of people we'll have rooms for, but they want to charge us an extra $1000 to do our wedding there, simply because we'll have about 15 more people there than the house is designed to sleep.
But, we really love the place (and so does my father, who, it turns out, is planning on paying for the majority of the wedding. who knew?), so we're trying to talk them into something a little more reasonable. Ultimately, it's their house, but I don't know if I could justify that much extra for a few more people. I also can't imagine trimming my guest list anymore.
That's been the only bump in the plan so far though. I ordered my dress and we asked a friend of ours to cater, my mom is taking care of cake and flowers, and we're moving forward pretty smoothly. I just wish the house owners would email us back.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Change of Heart
The other day, I was giving some serious thought to actually maybe looking at planning my wedding. Or something. Actually, I was talking to a friend who is much more organized -and much less lazy- than me about her impending wedding. She was regaling me with all the horrors she's been through trying to get everything done in nine months -no, she isn't knocked up: I asked. After talking my ear off about her own wedding -which, to be fair, I asked her to do- she asked how my planning was going. Uh, planning?
"Well, I think we want it to be outside. Definitely outside, and here, in Oregon, so I guess that means summer." It rains the rest of the year.
"This summer or next summer?"
"Next year, I think, or maybe the one after. I dunno."
Yeah, that's been my basic attitude about it all so far. This blog is supposed to motivate me to actually do stuff, but then I'd have to be motivated to actually post. Huh. Funny how that works.
She had to run off and make dinner, which left me alone, thinking about my wedding. Did I want my mother to give me a guest list of sixty people that I had to invite and tell me I look fat in a wedding dress? Did I want to coordinate the bridesmaids' dresses and the groomsmen's bow-ties and the tablecloths to all be a precise shade of lavender? Did I want to remember my wedding only as an event that took all of my time in the months leading up to it, and not as the joyous celebration of my union with the man I love?
If you answered no to all of the above you get a gold star. Now, for the bonus point, did Jena:
A)Suck it up and start doing some serious planning
B)Hire a wedding planner
C)Call of the whole thing and swear never to get married
D)Decide to elope
A+ if you picked D! That's right, I had decided to elope.
Cole came home and I announced our elopement, and, wonderful man that he is, he agreed, saying that the only important thing about his wedding was me. My man is so sweet.
Not to waste ant time, the next day we went down to the local courthouse and applied for a marriage license, called our best friends, and picked a day. Conveniently, we had the next week off of work, having planned a trip up to Seattle that was looking like it wasn't going to happen. We had a whole week together, alone, with nothing to do. Perfect! Let's get married!
As the day got closer, we were steadfast. We're sure we want to do this, a regular wedding isn't for us. The only problem was that we also kind of wanted our families there.
There was a little miscommunication while I was at work one day, and I thought he had invited his mother, so I called mine to invite her. That would have been fine, except my sister who is still in high school had an AP test to study for and my dad had a trip planned to Las Vegas that he had already paid for. Everyone assured me that I should go through with my plans as long as they were what I wanted, and that it was my day, and that they would move heaven and earth to be there.
That's when we realized that this wasn't what we wanted. While we were still sure we wanted a no-fuss wedding, it was more important that our family be there to celebrate with us.
Like any good story, this one comes with a moral: with something as important as a wedding (or shopping for shoes), never rush into anything unless you're sure of what you want.
"Well, I think we want it to be outside. Definitely outside, and here, in Oregon, so I guess that means summer." It rains the rest of the year.
"This summer or next summer?"
"Next year, I think, or maybe the one after. I dunno."
Yeah, that's been my basic attitude about it all so far. This blog is supposed to motivate me to actually do stuff, but then I'd have to be motivated to actually post. Huh. Funny how that works.
She had to run off and make dinner, which left me alone, thinking about my wedding. Did I want my mother to give me a guest list of sixty people that I had to invite and tell me I look fat in a wedding dress? Did I want to coordinate the bridesmaids' dresses and the groomsmen's bow-ties and the tablecloths to all be a precise shade of lavender? Did I want to remember my wedding only as an event that took all of my time in the months leading up to it, and not as the joyous celebration of my union with the man I love?
If you answered no to all of the above you get a gold star. Now, for the bonus point, did Jena:
A)Suck it up and start doing some serious planning
B)Hire a wedding planner
C)Call of the whole thing and swear never to get married
D)Decide to elope
A+ if you picked D! That's right, I had decided to elope.
Cole came home and I announced our elopement, and, wonderful man that he is, he agreed, saying that the only important thing about his wedding was me. My man is so sweet.
Not to waste ant time, the next day we went down to the local courthouse and applied for a marriage license, called our best friends, and picked a day. Conveniently, we had the next week off of work, having planned a trip up to Seattle that was looking like it wasn't going to happen. We had a whole week together, alone, with nothing to do. Perfect! Let's get married!
As the day got closer, we were steadfast. We're sure we want to do this, a regular wedding isn't for us. The only problem was that we also kind of wanted our families there.
There was a little miscommunication while I was at work one day, and I thought he had invited his mother, so I called mine to invite her. That would have been fine, except my sister who is still in high school had an AP test to study for and my dad had a trip planned to Las Vegas that he had already paid for. Everyone assured me that I should go through with my plans as long as they were what I wanted, and that it was my day, and that they would move heaven and earth to be there.
That's when we realized that this wasn't what we wanted. While we were still sure we wanted a no-fuss wedding, it was more important that our family be there to celebrate with us.
Like any good story, this one comes with a moral: with something as important as a wedding (or shopping for shoes), never rush into anything unless you're sure of what you want.
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